I’m one of those annoying people who believe in “signs”, but only when they are convenient, like most people who believe in signs. Which I guess means I’m not a true believer. But in a way I am. Because even if something is pointing in a direction I may not want it to be in, it’s not that I don’t see it, I just choose not too. Which I think a lot of people do as well.
I’ve been struggling for a while now about what I want to do career-wise. Every time I came up with an idea – something, (or somebody) always reminded me why I will never be [insert 4780 crushed dreams]. So I pretty much gave up on them 5 minutes after they popped into my head. (Hey, giving up is the easiest thing to do in the world, and you guys know I’m easy.)
I’ve come up with something though, something that I’m really interested in. However, I’ve decided to keep it to myself, because I feel like when I let outside sources get in my head, it makes the voices already in there angry and things get ugly. So it’s kind of just a thought at the moment. A thought and a problem. Part of this requires me learning a new language. Which I’m hoping somehow just comes to me. That can happen right? Just say yes.
But anyway, back to the whole signs thing. When I was in class today (which went surprisingly well. It’ll probably suck Wednesday though, since I’ve had such an exciting experience. Me? Pessimistic? What?) something was brought up, that connects to what I’ve been thinking about, that let’s face it, doesn’t usually happen everyday. It just makes me think maybe, just maybe I’m finally going in the right direction. Jumping ship too soon? Definitely. But dammit, how else is one suppose to look at life in a positive outlook if I don’t at least try.
I guess I’ll find out tomorrow when I check out the language class. See, I’m actually suppose to be dropping a class because my workload is a little heavy (and a crazy ass schedule). The class I went to today was suppose to be the class to drop, but it just went way too smooth. It’s not like I have anything else going on, why back out? <~ Watch me eat these words in 3 weeks.
No. No. Sorry. Optimism. It’s so 2010(/11 since it’s around the corner and all).
On another note: Been a hot minute since I’ve visited this website. I actually have another review coming up on mud. Yep, mud. It’s amazing.